Galanty Miller’s Re-tweets

I’m an involved parent and I’m concerned about the people educating my kids. That’s why I actively follow my son’s teacher’s eHarmony site./ I went on a blind date with a lovely woman, though I thought it was weird when she started to hit our waiter with a red flag.

Galanty Miller/Re-Tweets

Galanty Miller/Re-Tweets

  Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash   by Galanty Miller Columnist I truly believe that Internet pornography is ruining society… but improving the Internet./ At least my son died doing what he loved. (He loved dying.)/ First day of school?!?! Then where the...

Galanty Miller/ReTweets

If I could have dinner with any two people, living or dead, I’d choose Gandhi & Kylie Jenner- so Gandhi could see how the world turned out./ It was an ugly divorce. But I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex-wife, just to show there are no hard feelings./ Medical technology is amazing. I truly believe that in my lifetime, a mound of cocaine will be replaced by a single pill./ Maybe my ungrateful, unappreciative family should celebrate YOU’RE WELCOMESGIVING!/

Galanty Miller/Re-Tweets

Galanty Miller/Re-Tweets

I won’t let my kids drive until they’re old enough to steal a car./ We need a President who will fight for the sleeping class./ And for my third and final wish, I’d like, oh, I don’t know, I guess I could use a more comfortable chair./ Just a friendly reminder to have your pets spayed and married!

Galanty Re-Tweets

Your life is defined by how you’ve affected other people… until the day those people die… and then your life is meaningless./ Instead of unhealthy candy, for Halloween this year, I’m handing out selfies./ In a perfect world, EVERYONE would be trending./ Hey, guys. I’m looking for a place to crash tonight…maybe two nights…I’ll be gone by the end of the week…nine days tops…I’m never leaving.

Galanty Miller’s ReTweets

I stopped my cannibalism. I’m not morally against eating people- but I’m opposed to the way they’re raised./ I will not rest until I find the real killer… or until I feel that late-afternoon sluggishness./

Galanty’s Retweets

Galanty’s Retweets

Instead of unhealthy candy, for Halloween this year, I’m handing out selfies./ In a perfect world, EVERYONE would be trending./ Hey, guys. I’m looking for a place to crash tonight…maybe two nights…I’ll be gone by the end of the week…nine days tops…I’m never leaving./ Fun Fact; The average American spends 16 percent of their life stealing stuff./ If I was a track coach, I’d tell my sprinters to run faster.

Galanty Miller/Re-Tweets

Galanty Miller/Re-Tweets

It’s so sad that John Lennon and George Harrison are dead because now the Beatles can never reunite with Kanye West./ Washington “Redskins” is a terribly offensive name. Imagine how outraged people would be if a team was named the Washington Red BLACKS./ If a tree falls at my funeral, does it make a sound?

Galanty Retweets

*** *** *** Unnecessary clapping * * * and other white elephants *** from Galanty Miller *** I gave it all up to pursue my dream of being poor./ Let’s all give a big round of applause to unnecessary clapping./ I won’t be able to attend your wedding because I’ve been...

Galanty’s ReTweets

Galanty’s ReTweets

Dick Cheney protecting your freedoms. |“You are the father!” – Povich |We’re a nation of law… yers. |Colleges offer video game scholarships. |My Congressman’s name is… ummm. |Segregation is no longer intentional. |Our 51st state is McDonald’s. |Top one percent own us…